I wear the big boy clothes

The guys here that are lucky enough to have a wife also have a full time cleaning lady, baby sitter, personal chef and personal shopper. Yeah, a bang maid…what? The only thing the wives have to do is pop out babies like it’s their biz-nass. Anyway, it’s been mentioned before that some of the people we work for make more in a month than we do in almost a year. And yet, they are incapable of dressing themselves? It seems so.

So what, prêt ell, do these guys love even more than having someone to dress them and change their diapers everyday? They love making fun of other douche bags that dress stupid.

The other day I had a 30 minute conversation/argument with a bunch of suits about what not to wear.

Suit 1: “You shirt looks western, like a cowboy shirt.” (Looked nothing like a western shirt)

Suit 2: “My wife picked it out, you like my shirt don’t you?”

Me: “God please take me now.”

Suit 2: “Well Suit 1 bought 20 sweaters 10 years ago and he just rotates them.” (They love to rip on this guy’s sweaters for some retarded reason) “At least he doesn’t have to have his suits custom made like "insert douchey name here".

Suit 1: “Yeah, it’s because he’s as wide as he is tall.

Suit 3: And there isn’t a big market for 300 pound kids who need suits.” (Burn)

All suits laugh…

So the lesson is, if people make fun of you because you’re not as cool as the other d-bags in the office, just blame it on your bang maid, uh, I mean wife.