He sure has the "know" how, or is it no...how?

I suck at grammar and I really don't know how to spell (queue public school flash back). One thing I do know, the difference between "know" and "no"...

Office Jerk: Hey, is "no" as in "no one" spelled k-n-o-w?

Me: You're joking. You obviously don't know the definition of "know" or "no"...and I think you may be mentally retarded.

Office Jerk: I think I've been spelling it know one...

The PanDAMAC!

Holy hell! It's the panDAMAC!!!


It's bad enough that the media is stirring everyone into a shit frenzy about this, but no one loves to talk about 'worldly issues' more than the people in our office. And lucky us! We have had a tremendous amount of interesting issues circulating in the last 2 years or so that everyone can talk about...yay. And lucky us, now everyone has swine flu. I plan to come in dressed as a pig and ask if I can go home, think it will work?


First of all if you're going to talk overly loudly about things like this 5 feet away from my cube learn how to pronounce the fracking word correctly. Secondly, get some solid knowledge on the issue instead of regurgitating what you heard on FOX yesterday evening. That's right FOX, I said it. I've found more insightful and informative news in The Onion (ps Onion, you entertain me to no end, so thanks to you and your writers).


Everyone here wants to seem informed and worldly, but when you ask me stupid questions 99.9% of the rest of the time, guess what, I'm not going to be fooled by your poor attempt to seem edu-macated.

An English Lesson

Keep in mind that these questions SERIOUSLY came from so-called professionals who make more in a month than I do in a year. Thanks society!

Office Guy: "Does the word thoughts or comments have an aposotrophe in them?"

My reply: "No."

Office Guy: "Neither of them?"

Insert 'what the fuck face' here.

Some Background...But Not An Incriminating Amount

We've both worked at this office for a considerate amount of time so we've heard and seen a lot of things. Personally, I, who loved the television show 'The Office', thought working in one would be full of hilarious quips and never ending good times. Call me naive (I'd call it hopeful and spirited), but I really thought it could be like that. Can you tell that I had never worked a cubicle job before?

To my dismay people in real life office jobs are equally obnoxious, stupid and irritating as the people on the show, just minus all the funny stuff. If people were actually to report what goes on here HR would have a field day.

In the future you will come to learn about all the interesting 'characters' us luck-buckets get to enjoy (endure?) every god forsaken day. Call me a complainer, give me your spiel about pursuing another job or just quitting, but I'll tell you what, I'm not going to listen. All this crap about working and achieving anything you set your mind to is smelly bull dingy and you bet your sweet ass I'll be telling my kids that. Sometime people do get what they want, some just get lucky, but most of the time you have to suffer a little in a job that makes you want to hang yourself in order to get a little buckage in hopes rid yourself of the horribleness that is office work.

Hey, maybe there will come a time when we can look back and laugh about all of this. There may also be a time that I will shoot myself in the head.

Welcome

This is a blog created to share with the world just how great our office is...is great the right word?

It's been 2 years for one of us and a year and a half for the other...The list has already become to long.

All of these stories are true.

Names have been changed to spare people the embarrassment of their own stupidity.

Welcome and enjoy sharing in the painful daily experience that is our office.